Double Jaw Surgery

• Pain: 3/10
• Inconvenience: 7/10

My sidekick. Ages 2 and up.

Edit: I just got back from my doctor. My bottom teeth were most definitely not in the splint properly. He said they were out by 1/4 of a millimeter. Apparently swelling sometimes causes things to move around. All I know now is that I’m much more comfortable, but my jaw is throwing hissy fits like no other. The codeine and ibuprofen I just took are starting to kick in though. … Continue reading

• Pain: 3/10
• Inconvenience: 7/10

I *dare* you to not fall in love with that perfect smile!

Today was my first post-op appointment with my surgeon and I learned a lot of very cool stuff. To that end, today’s update will be less about my apparently humorous pain and more about the facts.

Important things first: they removed my elastics for a glorious 30 minutes, so I was able to take an honest look inside my mouth. I have a splint … Continue reading

• Pain: 3/10
• Inconvenience: 8/10

Holy *huge* lips!

Edit: I added a mugshot to show how excessively large my lips are today. Holy ****!

Edit: I also noticed that this blog is now the #2 hit if you search for “double jaw surgery” on Google. I’ll drink to that!

It’s been a full week since my surgery and things are looking up. My swelling has decreased dramatically. I can open and close my lips quite easily and I have feeling in … Continue reading

• Pain: 3/10
• Inconvenience: 9/10 (I can *almost* use a straw now!)

Welcome to the freakiest “smile” ever.

I didn’t fall asleep until 4:30 this morning. That was a bad move because I don’t want to become sick on top of this cannot-feel-my-face condition. It felt like my mouth was trying to break out of my face. It wasn’t painful, it was just uncomfortable. Drugs, drugs, drugs, some are good, some are bad… but right now, they’re all good. All of … Continue reading

• Pain: 4/10
• Inconvenience: 10/10 (We’re back to a mere 100% inconvenience because I’ve stopped drooling in my sleep!)

Thought I’d go for the “deer in the headlights” look today…

I slept on the couch last night, and I think I’m going to keep it that way for awhile. I haven’t really been sleeping through the night due to sheer discomfort, so I may as well be in a position where I can at least watch episodes of Heroes all night … Continue reading

• Pain: 4/10
• Inconvenience: 12/10

Even though they told me I would experience the worst pain in the first few days at the hospital, they lied. My pain is finally starting to increase. This is a good thing though, because it means feeling is returning to my face. So bring on the pain! Note to self: Fill painkiller prescriptions today.

I’m beginning to get tingly sensations in my lower lip. It keeps quivering on me.

Yesterday, I managed to eat 6 … Continue reading

• Pain: 2/10
• Inconvenience: 12/10

According to my surgeon, swelling peaks at 72 hours and stays at that point for anywhere up to a full week, at which point your face begins to return to normal. Tonight at 6:00 marks that 72-hour mark–thank God. My face is slightly fatter than it was yesterday, which makes it slightly tougher to eat, drink and breathe.

A few things I noticed this morning:

• My breath smells a little smoky, like there’s been something fermenting

• Pain: 2/10
• Inconvenience: 10/10

Here’s today’s mugshot. Dried blood (tough to scrub off when you can’t feel your nose and lips), unaligned lips and a big, fat head. I think I look a little bit like Fat Bastard.

Good news: today was my last day in the hospital! My stay hasn’t really been that bad. I’m thankful for all the kind nurses I’ve had (Daphiny, Jill, the nice Mexican lady whose name has escaped me). I’m thankful for those … Continue reading