• Pain: 0/10
• Inconvenience: 3/10

Ich kann meine Zunge kleben jetzt!

I can finally stick my tongue out! I’m also able to lick my bottom lip, but my tongue continually fails to reach around the giant splint to access my top lip. I guess one is better than none though, right? I added a German caption to the photo because I know I have a sole reader from Germany, and I aim to keep them interested. You know who you are, my old coworker.

So I finished off my first full week back at the gym on Friday. Most of my weight limits have dropped by 10-15 lbs, but for the most part, I didn’t lose a lot of strength. I was quite surprised at how much I was able to lift after my 7-week hiatus, to be honest. A few things I learned all too quickly:

• I feel a lot of pressure building up in my face when I’m lifting heavier weights
• I get tired extremely quickly, almost to the point of fainting (I stumbled around and had to lean up against the wall several times this past week)

“You don’t look like you’re dying anymore!”

My surgeon told me to take it easy, but I’m a stubborn man, so I did no such thing. It feels great to be back working out again! I even gained 6 lbs this past week, which I find quite odd because I’ve been eating the exact same amount of food. A couple people have mentioned that I no longer “look like I’m dying”, so that can only be a good thing. The guy I go to the gym with informed me that he’s lost a few pounds this past week, so I think the universe is just doing some micromanagement and putting its resources where they’re needed most.

I currently have an elastic wrapped around one of the hooks on my braces. It’s been there for 4 days now. I tried cutting it off, but it’s still very much stuck. It’s oriented like a square knot, so the more I pull on it, the tighter it gets. I’m going to get my surgeon to remove it with all of his amazing dental instruments tomorrow.

My friend and I were craving smoothies last night, so we made the trek to the local Walmart Supercenter to pick up the 1 ingredient I was missing: strawberries. We arrived at the store at exactly 12:00 am. Guess when the local Walmart closes: that’s right, at midnight. We watched the employee lock the doors as we were running towards them. That’s Murphy’s Law in action, my friends. Needless to say, we had strawberry-less smoothies last night.

Tomorrow is my lucky day: I’m getting my splint taken out. I believe that event is coupled with permission to eat soft foods again. You can rest assured that my next post will be chalk-full of rants about how I can lick my lips and eat again, and how big my mouth feels with the absence of the monstrosity that is the splint.