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Day 58: The Repressed Memories of a Young Pirate

  • Pain: 0/10
  • Inconvenience: 2/10

My smile is slowly returning!

I met with my surgeon again yesterday. Our little shindigs are full of good news these days, so I look forward to each one of them. He assured me, once again, that I was healing quite well, and told me not to worry about any lack of feeling in my chin and lips for at least another month. I also learned the following:

  • I’m finally allowed to blow my nose, but
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Day 56: Life Is Getting Better

  • Pain: 0/10
  • Inconvenience: 2/10

♫ I’m bringing home a baby bumblebee…

Lately, I’ve been finding bees in my place. Yesterday, I discovered a wasp crawling around in the laundry room and a bumblebee on a little adventure across the kitchen floor. I killed the wasp, because they’re evil little creatures, but I scooped up the bumblebee and set it free on a dandelion in the backyard. As soon as it could see the flower (or weed, depending who you’re talking … Continue reading

Day 54: Restaurants Are Cheaper When You Don’t Eat

  • Pain: 0/10
  • Inconvenience: 3/10

This is the current state of my teeth. They’re big, they’re prominent and they’re no longer the victims of a class 3 malocclusion. I find it difficult to wrap my upper lip around them when I attempt to smile, and they still hit the brackets on my bottom teeth before my molars ever come into contact with each other. However, this is still Graham 2.0. So get used to it.

I’ve readjusted into my Continue reading

Day 52: Catch-22

  • Pain: 0/10
  • Inconvenience: 4/10

If I open my mouth any wider, my elastics will snap. So this is all you get!

I’m not sure if you can see the appliance in the roof of my mouth or not, but it looks exactly like the picture below. Its sole purpose is to restrict my upper palette from narrowing. How long it will remain in service is a question that attracts different responses depending on whom it is directed to. If you … Continue reading

Day 50: Liberation Day, Sort Of

  • Pain: 0/10
  • Inconvenience: 5/10

Mes dents Rechercher norme!

If you can’t understand that caption, don’t fret. It’s in French, and I trust it will keep my reader from down under, who claims to know the language, quite perplexed.

You may be wondering why I’m not completely ecstatic about having my splint removed. I have a few good reasons, I assure you.

I had the splint graciously removed at 7:00 am yesterday morning. It was completely painless and only required the … Continue reading

Day 48: “You Don’t Look Like You’re Dying Anymore!”

  • Pain: 0/10
  • Inconvenience: 3/10

Ich kann meine Zunge kleben jetzt!

I can finally stick my tongue out! I’m also able to lick my bottom lip, but my tongue continually fails to reach around the giant splint to access my top lip. I guess one is better than none though, right? I added a German caption to the photo because I know I have a sole reader from Germany, and I aim to keep them interested. You know who you are, … Continue reading

Day 46: Splint Metamorphosis

  • Pain: 0/10
  • Inconvenience: 3/10

I think my nose is straightening out! (kinda)

Three days. That’s how much longer I’ll be married to “the splint”. I have an appointment at 7:00 am on May 10th to have it removed. My day of reckoning looks like this:

  • 7:00 am — Get my splint unwired and removed at my surgeon’s office
  • 8:00 am — Have an impression made at my orthodontist’s office
  • 1:30pm — Head back to my orthodontist’s office to get
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Day 44: Juggling Is Forbidden

  • Pain: 0/10
  • Inconvenience: 3/10

I take this bag to work with me every single day. It’s initiated quite a number of conversations about how enjoyable Legoland is. This picture hasn’t the least to do with jaw surgery–I simply want to go to Legoland one day. A boy can dream, can he not?

I will now proceed to rant about the local weather like an old man in a rocking chair might (if he could find time between yelling “Get off … Continue reading

Day 42: The Soup Making Party

  • Pain: 0/10
  • Inconvenience: 3/10

Guess what! My nose is beginning to straighten out again! My lips and mouth are still out of proportion quite a bit, and their symmetry seems to be nonexistent at the moment, but I’m sure that will all be corrected in due time.

Yesterday, I had a soup-making party with a friend who lives close by. There were no recipes or structure of any kind involved, just pure cooking madness. We made 3 different flavors:

  • Vegetable
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Day 40: Midlife Crisis

  • Pain: 0/10
  • Inconvenience: 3/10

Hands up, sheriff.

Today was, once again, shaving day. It felt even more unsettling than usual because of the spiral of confusion my little nerves are in right now. I don’t know if they’re going through a midlife crisis, or if they’re angry at me, or if they just went through a difficult breakup, or what their deal is. Right now, when I touch the left side of my chin, it sends pins and needles … Continue reading